Self-Inflicted Wounds
By: Teena Houston
Self-inflicted wounds crying out for help but to who..? So much hurt and anger and pain and resentment towards My 3 Angels for leaving me?
BSTTWTranslationsI want to scream out to them and ask them; Don't you see what you've done to me? Don't you care that you've left me alone?? Steady crying out for help but to who..?
Growing up I always had lots of friends and family! Surrounded by Everyone all the time was the greatest feeling ever. But I was envious of the Love everyone shared with one another. I always felt like an outcast. Alone. Filled with so much pain and darkness but in my heart I always knew I would be an inspiration to people...
I didn't know I would have to literally go thru HELL to do it...
For a long time All I had was Gina, and my best friend Drena... For Thanksgiving 2004 we cooked and visited family...
On November 27th, 2004... We went out. I didn't want to go and neither did Unique, Drena's girlfriend. But Gina and Drena did. So we drove to Greensboro to a new club. It's only like 1 hour 30 minutes away...
Everything was going wrong and I wanted to go home. Drena and Gina were drinking and Everyone who knows me knows I hate how some people get, Mean n Crazy, when they drink so I was upset with the both of them and ready to leave!
I asked Unique if she wanted Me to drive because she had drove up the highway and I told her if she was tired i would drive but she said no and she wasn't tired so she would drive...
I guess I should have just said give me the keys instead of asking but there's a lot you'll think of changing once you look back on things.. .if only I had known then what I know now...
So we left the club at 1:15 am...
We stopped at McDonalds then got on the highway. Unique was driving. I asked her if she wanted me to drive home since she drove to the club. Unique said no....
We were 20 minutes from home when I woke up trapped in a burning car. I was confused. I really thought I was dreaming. I looked at Unique. She was literally black and blue and stiff. Unique was sitting straight up still clenching the steering wheel. Dead...
Drena was dead... Somehow in the spot where I was sitting before the accident... I couldn't understand how I ended up in the passenger seat and how my BEST FRIEND ended up in the back... sitting where I once was.
Something had come thru the window and she was pinned down. Her dreads, that were once long, were now gone. They looked so short.... She was so Lifeless.. . I wanted her to get up, smile and say it's ok Teena Bug... But she was Dead...
I don't remember the crash... I don't even remember falling asleep...I just remember hearing a soft yet EXTREMELY LOUD WHISPER FROM WITHIN calling my name and that woke me up to my own personal Hell on Earth... Pure Torture...
Gina looked like she was sleeping. Her head was leaning on the burning window... A smell I'll Never forget... And a sound I'll Never Forget...
I punched the windshield til I finally got it to crack then I kicked a hole in it. I was scared to get out. Didn't want to leave them. I begged them to get up. I repeatedly yelled at them to please wake up or we're going to burn to Death! A part of Me kept saying this can't be happening for real! How? Why? What happened? What is going on? But I kept yelling; Y'all please! I made a way for us to get out! Please y'all... We're going to burn to Death and I said God please I can't get out by myself then suddenly... Gina jumped up and told me to go. She Never opened her eyes... Like she was up yelling at Me telling me I had to go but she Never opened her eyes... She kept saying... Teena you have to go! Get out! You have to go Teena!? I was confused as to how she was up but her eyes gone... I told her to come on and go get help with Me... She kept insisting that I had to leave...
So I climbed thru the broken windshield... It was the most awful feeling ever... Hot, melted, sharp, sticky glass cutting against my skin... I climbed through and jumped out tho! I was running thru the woods screaming for help.
Gina didn't follow me tho. She walked directly into the fire... Once I saw her apart of the blaze I was Emotionally Dead. I dropped to the ground... The fire was taking over my body. A woman I had been begging to help us was just watching... I was giving up... This was so Surreal!
I tried to save them but I couldn't. I can Never express in words how badly I tried to save them... I didn't care about myself I kept praying for them n screaming for help but people were just looking at Me burning... Nobody would help Me... Nobody would help them... I was burning... Burning and watching them burn to death...
A few men ran down and as I reached my hand out to them they ran away! I was raised to always help people so i couldn't understand why these people were watching us burn to death and wouldn't even help us. Standing there watching us. Again, I couldn't cry! I was looking at My Bones and the fire taking over my body and I was giving up. As soon as I laid back and said LORD I can't fight anymore so please just Take me now, I heard a voice yelling for Me to roll uphill to him!
My ANGEL Mr. Williams ran down and saved Me... He tried to get them but he couldn't so he held me... I sat there looking at my bones and watching the car explode with them exploding with it... I couldn't cry... I just kept reaching for them...
I suffer with 53% Third Degree Burns. I spent months in the hospital. Then I was in rehab learning to walk, talk and eat again...
Later I found out Unique was drunk... I didn't know... They have us down as statistics... We were more than that... She made an awful choice.. A deadly choice that changed her life as well as 2 others. Also it killed so many parts of Me.
DRINKING N DRIVING IS DEADLY!!!
I later learned from Unique's BEST FRIEND that they Often got drunk, drove to different clubs and fell asleep trying to drive home... That Hurt and Infuriated Me so badly...
If only We hadn't gone out...
Why Me when I hate alcohol? Why make the choice to Drink 'n Drive? Why Not give Me a choice because I wasn't around her to know that Unique 'n her friends did this regularly. Why did I have to Hurt and Lose so much? Why the One time I decide to go with her did we end up crashing 'n burning? Soooo Many questions! Soooo much Pain and Suffering!
I Now advocate against drunk driving as well as advocating for folks who feel less than Beautiful! Everyone needs to KNOW that YOU DEFINE BEAUTY!!!
There is No such thing as Normal. People can be cruel when others don't look how they Think people should look but I hold my head high and flaunt every scar because I DEFINE BEAUTY and I fought hard to Survive!!!
I'll Never hide!!Love Yourself!!!Love the LORD!!!Please Do NOT DRINK AND DRIVE!!!
PLEASE DO NOT RIDE WITH A DRUNK DRIVER!!!
BE AWARE OF THE PERSON DRIVING YOU!!!
PRAISE and GIVE THANKS KNOWING OUR LORD WILL NEVER LEAVE NOR FORSAKE YOU!!!
GRACE and MERCY and FAVOR!!!
Getting through is tough but I'm a Fighter...A Survivor..
I like to think that My Scars are the most Beautiful work of Art ever Created!
Love,TeenaRie ߒ
